Wow.. If I have learned one thing today. It would be that in the moment of my weakness He gives me GRACE to do His will. His will for me…His best for me. His desire for me.
It all began last week when I begin to think what ministry in Nicaragua meant to me and how I could prepare my heart for what was in store. So i wrote it out for Trish:Ministry in Nicaragua is so important and special to me. I have realized the past few times that I have been that the only way to change the condition of their lives is to bring the gospel! So often people just bring “stuff” and leave. But the gospel is what will change their lives inside and out. If you can teach the little ones how to live a LIFE that glorifies the Lord, they will have such an impact on the future of Nicaragua. It makes me want to go now and tell them about my Jesus and how he has changed my life.
Then I woke up one day last week and felt like it was the day I should apply for AIM next summer… My heart got so excited to think that I might be able to go and spend an extended time there for the summer. I want to go. I pray that it is His will for me. I want to experience life in Nicaragua as real as I can…Kayla just got back from doing this and I will be honest and say some of the things she talks about really stress me out (rats, bats, mice, not being able to talk to my family alot, no purified water….) oh the little things that bring me down. But then she shares about her time feeding the people at the dump, tutoring at the girls home, spending time at Corozon contento and I think I can do this. I want to do this. My heart breaks for this. I want to share what God has blessed me with.
Nica as a whole is a struggling and lost place. Their way of life is so different than I or anyone I am close to truly knows. Their only Hope is truly Jesus Christ and if the children there don’t know Jesus then there future in Nica is hopeless, gross, disgusting, hurtful, broken and meaningless. They will suffer so much in their lives with or without Christ. But if they have Christ their communities will change. They will live an abundant life full of joy, satisfaction and hope in what seem to be the worst of conditions.
I heard a story about a little girl who was tied up to a tree in her back yard with a tin roof over it…with the dogs and the dirt. Her parents would go out to just feed her once a day. Other than that she was all alone in the dirt with dogs probably licking her, sitting in her own mess. Never being touched. Never being loved. Never being held. Never being kissed. No one to tell her they loved her and that she meant something. She was there for 5 years. Now she is in Corozon Contento where she just sits and twitches, makes noises and does anything to stimulate herself. She had no interaction or development the first part of her life…This story is just a tiny piece of the desperation of Nicaragua. It hurt my heart, almost in a numbing way to hear this. It hurt so much that i couldn’t even cry. I just looked at Kayla with a blank stare because all of the sudden I have this deep desire to bring Jesus and HOPE to Nicaragua. Maybe just to one person if that be His will…or maybe a whole barrio. We will see what GREAT things are to come.
Project Nicaragua- I was talking to my friend Mark and he asked me to pray about something. He asked me to pray about being a part of Project Nica. I asked exactly what he meant and he said he wanted me to be the person in charge of all the children’s activities and plans for the trips…WHAT? Didn’t I just write that what I felt like God wanted me to do is get Jesus and the gospel to the children of Nica. They are the future. Mark didn’t even know that is what I felt he just said he felt like my heart was right for the job. Greater things are yet to come…
It really just amazes me that I am in a very contrite place in my heart. I am to say the least heart broken by a relationship. But even when my heart is in a million pieces, God’s grace is still showing me what my heart was made for. He renews my spirit and heart in the midst of pain. I am learning to listen and follow. Even if it’s alone for now.
I want to hear You. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a humble and pure heart as I seek You and Your will. Heal the broken piece of my life into something beautiful that can be Your instrument. Give me words to speak…Give me ears to listen…Give me hands to serve. Help me to Trust You are up to something bigger than me.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Stop and Praise
In the fall I always seem to notice God when the leaves start to change and I brace myself for the winter. I think about all that God has done in my life the past few seasons and I praise Him. Even when I thought I wasn't gonna be healed, or even when I couldn't find the strength to Praise Him. He never fails me. He always picks me back up and sets me back on his path that I seem to so easily step off of over and over... So today I decided to stop and praise God for the big things and even the little things that may seem so insignificant.
Today I will be THANKFUL for:
Another day, breath for life, given freely by Grace.
Friends who are sold out for the Lord.
Your word.
My family.
My job.
People who pray for me when I don’t have to words to say.
That Dad’s scan came back okay.
Photography oppurtunities this weekend.
Your death on the cross for me.
Your grace and love when i fail you over and over.
Your heart for me and desire for my best.
A chance to hang out with some precious girls tonight.
Being able to go nicaragua for Christmas. Your provision for the trip.
The book- “The Perfect Fit.”
A good run this morning, despite my terrible cough.
All the exciting dancer things coming up!
My dancers…their smiles and hugs.
Most importantly I will be thankful for what you have done for me this far and what you are going to do if I keep my eyes ever fixed on your face.
Today I will be THANKFUL for:
Another day, breath for life, given freely by Grace.
Friends who are sold out for the Lord.
Your word.
My family.
My job.
People who pray for me when I don’t have to words to say.
That Dad’s scan came back okay.
Photography oppurtunities this weekend.
Your death on the cross for me.
Your grace and love when i fail you over and over.
Your heart for me and desire for my best.
A chance to hang out with some precious girls tonight.
Being able to go nicaragua for Christmas. Your provision for the trip.
The book- “The Perfect Fit.”
A good run this morning, despite my terrible cough.
All the exciting dancer things coming up!
My dancers…their smiles and hugs.
Most importantly I will be thankful for what you have done for me this far and what you are going to do if I keep my eyes ever fixed on your face.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Pieces
Today, I was having a normal day and I had one of those moments. In my car. Driving to work just like I do every single day. A moment that I realized God's love for me. That might not seem unusual to anyone who really knows me. But it just hit me that HE truly loves me. He loves me more than I could even fathom. He CARES about every single detail in my life. Every single piece of it. The broken ones, the sharp ones, the mismatched ones and even the ones that are pleasing in His sight. I wish that my whole life/puzzle had all those pieces that please Him, but I am just Abby. I am sinner saved by grace. Amazing grace. Grace that overwhelms me and captures me just like it did today.
My "AH HA" moment came to me while I was thinking about Nicaragua for Christmas. I have to pay my trip off in November. The exact amount I owe, I have given the past few weeks. I gave it because I truly felt like it would be the best thing to do. Unlike many times, I gave it with a cheerful heart as a gift, knowing it would be a blessing. I was thinking about it and the amount I have given away is the amount that I will be given for my Photography by the end of October, which is the amount I need for my Nicaragua trip. HOW COULD HE BE SO GOOD TO ME? I was giving and little did I know God was working a way to give it right back to me. It really overwhelmed me. I had tears streaming down my face. I was reminded that my Jesus truly loves me and cares about all the pieces of my life. He cares about who I am giving to and why. He cares about providing for me. He cares to show me that He is still at work in my life in the midst of a crazy world. He is still so close when I feel far away. I was apprehensive about giving because I knew I had this trip to pay for. But God is the GREAT PROVIDER.
I am humbled by what I was reminded of today. I am nothing. HE IS EVERYTHING. What the Lord is doing and how he is working is truly a blessing to me. Not a blessing because I have done anything right! But a blessing because I truly desire for his name to be known. When He blesses me I will give. May I never hold anything for myself. It is His before He gives it to me and it will be His when I give it back.
“God be gracious to us and bless us, and cause His face to shine upon us, That
your way may be known on the earth, Your salvation among all the nations. Let the
peoples praise you, O God, Let all the peoples praise you. Let the nations be glad and
sing for Joy." Psalm 67
Lord, I thank you that You see my heart. You see the depths of who I am and you still love me. You see the good in me. The good that is only because of you. You see what I truly desire even in the mess of my heart and You somehow keep working. I praise you for Your constant provision in my life. Even when i don't always see it. Thank you for giving me moments like today when I see it and I see YOU. I pray that you would continue to deliver me from my pride and selfishness. May I continue, with Your wisdom, to give so that others might see and know Yo
My "AH HA" moment came to me while I was thinking about Nicaragua for Christmas. I have to pay my trip off in November. The exact amount I owe, I have given the past few weeks. I gave it because I truly felt like it would be the best thing to do. Unlike many times, I gave it with a cheerful heart as a gift, knowing it would be a blessing. I was thinking about it and the amount I have given away is the amount that I will be given for my Photography by the end of October, which is the amount I need for my Nicaragua trip. HOW COULD HE BE SO GOOD TO ME? I was giving and little did I know God was working a way to give it right back to me. It really overwhelmed me. I had tears streaming down my face. I was reminded that my Jesus truly loves me and cares about all the pieces of my life. He cares about who I am giving to and why. He cares about providing for me. He cares to show me that He is still at work in my life in the midst of a crazy world. He is still so close when I feel far away. I was apprehensive about giving because I knew I had this trip to pay for. But God is the GREAT PROVIDER.
I am humbled by what I was reminded of today. I am nothing. HE IS EVERYTHING. What the Lord is doing and how he is working is truly a blessing to me. Not a blessing because I have done anything right! But a blessing because I truly desire for his name to be known. When He blesses me I will give. May I never hold anything for myself. It is His before He gives it to me and it will be His when I give it back.
“God be gracious to us and bless us, and cause His face to shine upon us, That
your way may be known on the earth, Your salvation among all the nations. Let the
peoples praise you, O God, Let all the peoples praise you. Let the nations be glad and
sing for Joy." Psalm 67
Lord, I thank you that You see my heart. You see the depths of who I am and you still love me. You see the good in me. The good that is only because of you. You see what I truly desire even in the mess of my heart and You somehow keep working. I praise you for Your constant provision in my life. Even when i don't always see it. Thank you for giving me moments like today when I see it and I see YOU. I pray that you would continue to deliver me from my pride and selfishness. May I continue, with Your wisdom, to give so that others might see and know Yo
Saturday, October 10, 2009
To "you"
Dear One,
The one my heart longs for. The one I long to love with love that is overflowing from me. The one I want to share life with, even when life sucks. To the one that will hold me and wipe my tears even if you don't say anything at all. You, the one I want to hold my hand and tell the world that you belong to me and that I love you. I have been striving with all that I have to honor you ALL the days of my life, even if I don't know you. I pray for you everyday. I pray that you know my king the way that I know Him. So that one day we can serve Him together. I pray that somehow in the mess of my life and this world, I will find you and that my heart will be pure so that I can give you the best. I want to give you only the best. I have days that I just cry because I want to know you so bad. I want to love. I want to walk next to you through whatever you are going through. I want to be a part of another family and I want so much for you to know mine. They are amazing. And I know they will love you. My sisters, my mom and close friends have been praying for you too! People often tell me you're almost here. Do I know you? I want to know the end of the story, probably as much as you do.
I can't wait until the day that you get on your knee and ask me to be your wife. And the day when I get to walk down the aisle in white to be your bride. I can't wait to see the look on your face when the doors open and my Dad walks me down the aisle to give me away to you. He will trust you because I will love and trust you. I can't wait to have kids with you one day. And face all the challenges that might bring. The joy and the tears. I want to raise them to love and know the Lord just like my parents have raised me. I want us to look at them and remember that they are a gift from God and he has blessed us with eachother and them.
I am excited to support you in all you do and for you to do the same for me. I can't wait for all my dance girls to know you. If you want to make me smile, you can act like you are interested in dance even if you are not. I can't wait for the simple things in life :Like watching a movie together on a friday night. And telling you that I love you before I go to sleep at night. I can't wait to cook dinner for you and clean up after you. I want to take you to Nicaragua. I can't wait to see where and how God works in our lives. I can't wait to wake up every morning and CHOOSE to love you.
Today, like many days few and far between my heart longs to be with you. I have tears streaming down my face. I have to trust that our God only wants what is best for us and He is still working. I don't know how long or far you are from me...but I am ready to be with you.
The one my heart longs for. The one I long to love with love that is overflowing from me. The one I want to share life with, even when life sucks. To the one that will hold me and wipe my tears even if you don't say anything at all. You, the one I want to hold my hand and tell the world that you belong to me and that I love you. I have been striving with all that I have to honor you ALL the days of my life, even if I don't know you. I pray for you everyday. I pray that you know my king the way that I know Him. So that one day we can serve Him together. I pray that somehow in the mess of my life and this world, I will find you and that my heart will be pure so that I can give you the best. I want to give you only the best. I have days that I just cry because I want to know you so bad. I want to love. I want to walk next to you through whatever you are going through. I want to be a part of another family and I want so much for you to know mine. They are amazing. And I know they will love you. My sisters, my mom and close friends have been praying for you too! People often tell me you're almost here. Do I know you? I want to know the end of the story, probably as much as you do.
I can't wait until the day that you get on your knee and ask me to be your wife. And the day when I get to walk down the aisle in white to be your bride. I can't wait to see the look on your face when the doors open and my Dad walks me down the aisle to give me away to you. He will trust you because I will love and trust you. I can't wait to have kids with you one day. And face all the challenges that might bring. The joy and the tears. I want to raise them to love and know the Lord just like my parents have raised me. I want us to look at them and remember that they are a gift from God and he has blessed us with eachother and them.
I am excited to support you in all you do and for you to do the same for me. I can't wait for all my dance girls to know you. If you want to make me smile, you can act like you are interested in dance even if you are not. I can't wait for the simple things in life :Like watching a movie together on a friday night. And telling you that I love you before I go to sleep at night. I can't wait to cook dinner for you and clean up after you. I want to take you to Nicaragua. I can't wait to see where and how God works in our lives. I can't wait to wake up every morning and CHOOSE to love you.
Today, like many days few and far between my heart longs to be with you. I have tears streaming down my face. I have to trust that our God only wants what is best for us and He is still working. I don't know how long or far you are from me...but I am ready to be with you.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Belief makes things REAL
I believe God is sooo good!
I believe in angels
I believe everything happens for a reason…
I believe in coffee after dinner
I believe in running and listening to my music really loud
I believe lyricals give me chills…
I believe in love at first sight
I believe in butterflies in your stomach
I believe God is real and is waiting to show you what He can do in your life.
I believe kisses are to be cherished and given with great caution
I believe hugs brighten my day
I believe God may be calling me to adopt
I believe having a husband who loves Jesus more than me is only the best
I believe that being partners with my husband in the ministry would be great
I believe that kids are so special
I believe kids with special needs are gifts from above
I believe God has my whole life planned out
I believe I need to give my whole heart to God before I ever consider giving it to a guy
I believe worship is the best feeling in the world
I believe I am right where I belong in this moment
I believe God has blessed me with so much more than I deserve
I believe Alex and Ellen are and will Always be my best friends
I believe I am blessed with amazing friends.
I believe that God gives and takes away for my good.
I believe in forgiveness….and 2nd….3rd….4th…chances….
I believe that chocolate is my favorite
I believe quality time is my love language
I believe in holding hands
I believe laughter heals the soul
I believe that He is alive because He came to fix my broken life.
I believe in deep conversations
I believe that I am filled to be emptied again
I believe prayer is more powerful than anyone can think or imagine
I believe that movies are great
I believe that I love to share Gods truth and life
I believe in energy drinks…
I believe that my family is the best!
I believe that my nieces and nephews rock my world
I believe my sisters are the best ones around
I believe in texting
I believe in writing
I believe you gotta keep dancing even if you fall...
I believe in being completely transparent
I believe His Joy is my strength
I believe every breath should be an effort to praise him
I believe my hearts desire is to be married
I believe that with His grace, I can love, serve and honor my husband ALL the days of my life (even now…)
I believe in the Word of God. It is a light unto my feet
I believe Hilton Head is my second home
I believe I am painted with His purity
I believe in eating a lot of Mexican food
I believe that i smile really big when i hear people speaking spanish
I believe that part of my heart is in Nicaragua
I believe distance makes the heart grow fonder
I believe in satan and hell
I believe in Diet coke and a lot of it
I believe that I have an amazing job!
I believe God has changed me so much he past 3 years
I believe in smiling til my cheeks hurt
I believe in ballet mag!
I believe belle is the best princess
I believe I desire to worship with other nations
I believe in Jesus Christ and the abundant life He promises….
I believe in angels
I believe everything happens for a reason…
I believe in coffee after dinner
I believe in running and listening to my music really loud
I believe lyricals give me chills…
I believe in love at first sight
I believe in butterflies in your stomach
I believe God is real and is waiting to show you what He can do in your life.
I believe kisses are to be cherished and given with great caution
I believe hugs brighten my day
I believe God may be calling me to adopt
I believe having a husband who loves Jesus more than me is only the best
I believe that being partners with my husband in the ministry would be great
I believe that kids are so special
I believe kids with special needs are gifts from above
I believe God has my whole life planned out
I believe I need to give my whole heart to God before I ever consider giving it to a guy
I believe worship is the best feeling in the world
I believe I am right where I belong in this moment
I believe God has blessed me with so much more than I deserve
I believe Alex and Ellen are and will Always be my best friends
I believe I am blessed with amazing friends.
I believe that God gives and takes away for my good.
I believe in forgiveness….and 2nd….3rd….4th…chances….
I believe that chocolate is my favorite
I believe quality time is my love language
I believe in holding hands
I believe laughter heals the soul
I believe that He is alive because He came to fix my broken life.
I believe in deep conversations
I believe that I am filled to be emptied again
I believe prayer is more powerful than anyone can think or imagine
I believe that movies are great
I believe that I love to share Gods truth and life
I believe in energy drinks…
I believe that my family is the best!
I believe that my nieces and nephews rock my world
I believe my sisters are the best ones around
I believe in texting
I believe in writing
I believe you gotta keep dancing even if you fall...
I believe in being completely transparent
I believe His Joy is my strength
I believe every breath should be an effort to praise him
I believe my hearts desire is to be married
I believe that with His grace, I can love, serve and honor my husband ALL the days of my life (even now…)
I believe in the Word of God. It is a light unto my feet
I believe Hilton Head is my second home
I believe I am painted with His purity
I believe in eating a lot of Mexican food
I believe that i smile really big when i hear people speaking spanish
I believe that part of my heart is in Nicaragua
I believe distance makes the heart grow fonder
I believe in satan and hell
I believe in Diet coke and a lot of it
I believe that I have an amazing job!
I believe God has changed me so much he past 3 years
I believe in smiling til my cheeks hurt
I believe in ballet mag!
I believe belle is the best princess
I believe I desire to worship with other nations
I believe in Jesus Christ and the abundant life He promises….
Monday, September 28, 2009
A slice of life
I have been meaning to write for awhile now. I often am talking to a close friend and we will be chatting away and I will just stop and look at them and tell them I really need to write. Writing helps me sort through the mess of my heart. When I say mess, I mean a BEAUTIFUL mess. A mess that is created by things that I probably wouldn't change or take back even if I could. In this mess, God still speaks to my heart even if it's just a whisper. Other times, HE is yelling at me! Even in the mess I still get to see God changing me and changing others around me.
So what's new? Well...kind of alot but kind of not much at all. My life is pretty much the same but things surrounding me change. I am still Abby. I still teach dance. I still pour into the same people I have been for awhile. Even if they aren't here in knoxville with me. :( That is one thing that has changed...Kayla is in Nicaragua until I go down there in December. And my other half mandi went back to school in the boro. Life is so different without both of them here. They walked thru some really hard stuff with me this summer and at times it's hard to not have them right when I need them. But I have also learned the God truly does have perfect timng. He took my kayla and mandi for a short time and gave me two others that were not here with me this summer. Jess was in china all summer and we only talked thru e-mails and occasionally on the phone. Even though the world seperated us, we still could walk this journey called life together. But it is so good to have her back here with me :) ( whoah, I just realized i sound so selfish right now...i really am not I am just saying...)
Walking through what I did this summer...hmmm...it really was miserable at times but other times I had the sweetest times that I am not sure I would have had with out going through what I was going through. I really thought at times that it would never end, then there were other times in my heart where I had this flutter of HOPE that it was going to be okay I just would get sick thinking about the time it would take and the journey I would have to keep walking. All through out I would find myself on my face, humbled by the creator and what He could do in my life and circumstances. I truly had all my hope in Him. All the love that was filling me up was over flowing to HIM and others. I had joy in the midst of so much pain and confusion. Some days you could see it in my eyes...other days you couldn't at all. But I know there was not a day that HE wasn't holding me heart and telling me it was all going to be okay. Yes, it was miserable. Would I change it if I could? I am not sure. Because it really showed me what I am made of, who I live for, what I want and that with God and his grace I can keep loving even when I am in a million pieces.
GRACE...I still don't fully understand this word. I wish I did. But I do know that the past 6 months of my life I have seen grace raining down all around me. In every area of my life. It's this grace that sustained me through one of the scariest storms in the sea of life. It is this grace that still pulls me back when I seem to be slipping away. It is this grace that is given to me that allows me to forgive. It is this grace that allows me to keep serving even when I make stupid decisions. It is this grace that gives me breath each new day. It is this GRACE that is making all things new RIGHT NOW in my life. I don't credit anything I have done to be allowed the privelage to forgive and love the way Jesus Christ loves me. It is only an overflow of what I have been given.
The past month I have noticed something...that parts of my affection that were going to the Lord are going somewhere else now. Much of the overflow of love I have in my life is being torn between someone who has won my affection and the God who made me. i have really battled with this. Is it okay? Does my life still please YOU? Is it okay that I am torn between these two things? I am still seeking, but I am still reminded that the only reason I love is becasue He first loved me. I have to keep Christ as my first love or I WILL come up empty. If I am scared, anxious, worried or fearful I still go to the Lord. He fills me up. He helps me sing His name. Jesus has walked with me through everything, He knows my heart better than anyone (even Kayla, Mandi and Jess) I trust that He is still walking with me. Still holding my heart. God, would you take my heart and guard it? Because YOU KNOW the end of the story....
So what's new? Well...kind of alot but kind of not much at all. My life is pretty much the same but things surrounding me change. I am still Abby. I still teach dance. I still pour into the same people I have been for awhile. Even if they aren't here in knoxville with me. :( That is one thing that has changed...Kayla is in Nicaragua until I go down there in December. And my other half mandi went back to school in the boro. Life is so different without both of them here. They walked thru some really hard stuff with me this summer and at times it's hard to not have them right when I need them. But I have also learned the God truly does have perfect timng. He took my kayla and mandi for a short time and gave me two others that were not here with me this summer. Jess was in china all summer and we only talked thru e-mails and occasionally on the phone. Even though the world seperated us, we still could walk this journey called life together. But it is so good to have her back here with me :) ( whoah, I just realized i sound so selfish right now...i really am not I am just saying...)
Walking through what I did this summer...hmmm...it really was miserable at times but other times I had the sweetest times that I am not sure I would have had with out going through what I was going through. I really thought at times that it would never end, then there were other times in my heart where I had this flutter of HOPE that it was going to be okay I just would get sick thinking about the time it would take and the journey I would have to keep walking. All through out I would find myself on my face, humbled by the creator and what He could do in my life and circumstances. I truly had all my hope in Him. All the love that was filling me up was over flowing to HIM and others. I had joy in the midst of so much pain and confusion. Some days you could see it in my eyes...other days you couldn't at all. But I know there was not a day that HE wasn't holding me heart and telling me it was all going to be okay. Yes, it was miserable. Would I change it if I could? I am not sure. Because it really showed me what I am made of, who I live for, what I want and that with God and his grace I can keep loving even when I am in a million pieces.
GRACE...I still don't fully understand this word. I wish I did. But I do know that the past 6 months of my life I have seen grace raining down all around me. In every area of my life. It's this grace that sustained me through one of the scariest storms in the sea of life. It is this grace that still pulls me back when I seem to be slipping away. It is this grace that is given to me that allows me to forgive. It is this grace that allows me to keep serving even when I make stupid decisions. It is this grace that gives me breath each new day. It is this GRACE that is making all things new RIGHT NOW in my life. I don't credit anything I have done to be allowed the privelage to forgive and love the way Jesus Christ loves me. It is only an overflow of what I have been given.
The past month I have noticed something...that parts of my affection that were going to the Lord are going somewhere else now. Much of the overflow of love I have in my life is being torn between someone who has won my affection and the God who made me. i have really battled with this. Is it okay? Does my life still please YOU? Is it okay that I am torn between these two things? I am still seeking, but I am still reminded that the only reason I love is becasue He first loved me. I have to keep Christ as my first love or I WILL come up empty. If I am scared, anxious, worried or fearful I still go to the Lord. He fills me up. He helps me sing His name. Jesus has walked with me through everything, He knows my heart better than anyone (even Kayla, Mandi and Jess) I trust that He is still walking with me. Still holding my heart. God, would you take my heart and guard it? Because YOU KNOW the end of the story....
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I Am Without Excuse
How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects and hurts me?
Look to the Cross...Look at His face. The blood streaming down. The nails in His hands. The crown of thorns. The people spitting on him saying "crucify HIm." His closest friends rejecting Him and denying who He was.
And He says, "Father, FORGIVE them. For they know not what they do.."
I can't love. I am learning I can't love. I can't give what I don't have.
I am learning I have to make a decision to love whether I THINK they deserve it or not.
Jesus Christ took my place. I rejected Him. I spit in His face. I disobeyed. I didn't believe. I didn't TRUST. And without apprehension or excuses- HE LOVES ME. He chose to Love me. He died for me.
The only love I have to give is unconditional love. Love that sets me free. Undeserving love. Grace that abounds. Hope not lost.
I am without excuse...
April 19, 2009
Look to the Cross...Look at His face. The blood streaming down. The nails in His hands. The crown of thorns. The people spitting on him saying "crucify HIm." His closest friends rejecting Him and denying who He was.
And He says, "Father, FORGIVE them. For they know not what they do.."
I can't love. I am learning I can't love. I can't give what I don't have.
I am learning I have to make a decision to love whether I THINK they deserve it or not.
Jesus Christ took my place. I rejected Him. I spit in His face. I disobeyed. I didn't believe. I didn't TRUST. And without apprehension or excuses- HE LOVES ME. He chose to Love me. He died for me.
The only love I have to give is unconditional love. Love that sets me free. Undeserving love. Grace that abounds. Hope not lost.
I am without excuse...
April 19, 2009
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